Desperate for the wrong things.

You know it is quite puzzling to me how people want to change for the worst.. There is this girl , whom I used to be cool with, is desperate. She is so desperate that she turned on her God Sisters, me, other people, and even started beef with people to be cool with these girls.
These girls where going to beat her and everything ... Told all her business and some more stuff. They stop speaking for 3 years ... Then she had the nerve to be best friends with them in 1 month .
She used to say,"UGHH I HATE them" and stuff like that. If I stop speaking to someone for three years then it would take probably 3+years until we are speaking and friends again.. It might not even happen!! ALL that hate shit was a show!!! Girl you wanted them to be your friends. Trying get them beat and stuff was a front. And it was strange how someone who you don't like live around the corner and you never fought them.. If I hated a person as much as you pretended to hate them , then we would have fought !!! It is funny because the people who would have backed her up in fighting she let go for them ... I made 2 beefs for this girl and 1 is still going on ....

So she started beefing with me, her God sisters, my best friends and my best friend's sister.. My home girls came up to my house all 13 of them to bet her and her friends ass for keeping up Bull Shit !!! But I told them not too.. And my best friend and her people so that mad 6 boys , 4 were my homeboys , and 21 females. See I did the right thing .. She was lucky because that was a major ass whipping ...

But we were on speaking terms because we finally talked about what was going on.. It took a big ass altercation ... It is funny because I talked things out but she wanted to be tough Tony and shit. Yea she did a lot of bluffing that day !!! She swung 3 times ..well it wasn't really a swing .. But she missed.. You know she is not a fighter .. Then my mother kept saying that not I am not like that !!! Women I have been in plenty of things (not trying brag) and I can handle myself... But anyway you know she told half the truth that night.. I am not going lie I said some things ... But she failed to mention how she made phone calls and other shit...

Yea she deleted me off Facebook, which is fine, as long as she doesn't try anything in person... But her friends whom she wanted so bad ..I only like 1 of them ... But see it is funny because all her business is spread around still.... Dummy you can't be friends with everyone . The sad thing is those girls will not get her outta anything .They will sit back and let her fiend for herself..SMH.

I am not mad nor hold anymore beef with you !! In my ..excuse me ... in mine and other's eyes you are a loser ,clown,punk, and a coward... And if you read this and have a problem hit my phone!!! If you make a video then your a fool.... And stop letting your mom fight your battles because if you have all that mouth then you can back it up!!! You know if you keep hanging with them then something bad may happen !!!!!

My Father

You know all my life I really wanted my father around !!! After him and my mother got divorced I was to young to realize this but I need a Father Figure around . So when this nigga came back around it was okay then I started seeing more and more things I didn't like . He is a fucking nigga because for these reasons:
1. Just because you pay child support doesn't mean you are there !!! He says, "So many times I was there for you and your brother." 100 dollars of month don't mean SHIT !!!!
2. Now that I am 18 he says, " I am of age !!" he does barely anything!!
3. He says shit like I don't want you around me , or you aren't like me.
4. He keeps comparing myself and him.
5.He treats my little sister better then he does any of my brothers ..

HE is the cause of all my hatred and frustration. He wounded me, but wounds heel over time. I started this post a while ago and instead of keep bashing him I learned something. That if I ever become a parent I know what not to be like, because I want to get to know my child. HE has taught me the positivity and strength in myself because all the BS I went through made me stronger and closer to my real father GOD

Around me

Okay . My life is changing for the better and I really enjoy some of the people I come across. As I am taking myself away from drama the people around me are having DRAMA like crazy. They experience fights,arguing, getting shit happen to their house, car windows getting busted/egg and tires slashed, and MORE FIGHTS.

Hopefully this all will change but they keep surrounding themselves in that foolery. I really HATE all the bull shit, but I do believe if you must fight it should be one on one. I hate when when two people have a problem then all their friends get involved. If you handle your business then you won't have to worry about sneaky ass people. I used to all back my friends and I won't let them get hurt in front of me ,but I will not fight their battle/beef.

I used have a lot of "friends" but I had to let them go. They just had too much bullshit with them and then they would act funny. I swear they are part of the reasons I had personal insecurities, but now that I have postivie people things are going up. I used to have tons of "eneimes" but they were not eneimes. They were just personal differences ..HAHA (I used to beef over the dumbest of things).
Back to the point, I will always be their for people but I won't risk my future for Bull Shit unless that shit is affecting me.... I tell my friends this old saying:
"People are going talk about you to the day you die, but if you show them that you not worried. They will look them at the end of the day."
I am always laughing about people who feel they need to worry, hate or just plain be disrespectful to me. But please don't get it twisted .I have matured and my patience has gone up. But if you KEEP knocking on my door YOU WILL GET AN ANSWER.....

LOVE,

Joshua Butler


Yes to all who read my blog thanks for taking time out your day to read my stuff (Friends and Foes).